One kiss blows life into nothingness
One kiss and what was dead comes alive
One kiss and the velvety petals of a ruby red rose
Emerge from the darkness
And reach yearningly for the light.
One kiss and a breathing, living, sumptuous child
Arises from flesh
One kiss and the skies open and drop joyous tears
Onto the painter’s creation
One kiss and that which lived must die
One kiss and that which died is reborn anew
And vibrates in the ocean of forever.
One kiss and all that appeared to be
Returns to just one kiss.
When I was small, everything was magic
New, wondrous, fresh, exciting, free.
Then they told me:
Don’t feel this way.
Don’t think that way.
This is good. That is bad.
You are right. You are wrong.
Confused I became –
And then my wondrous world became tainted With labels and judgments that I didn’t understand.
Slowly the magic disappeared
And the labels and boxes neatly defined my reality. Sadder and older, I plod through life
And my label shakes hands with all the other labels, And so we agree to pretend
That the magic is a fantasy
And that freedom is only for the mad.
Part 2 The Door Openers
The Being of Light from the far away galaxy asked God another question, “What do these earthlings have to do to open a door to your Light and Love?”
God replied, “There are many doorways through which they can reach me and taste this nectar of Divine Love. All of their sensations, emotions, and feelings can be turned inside themselves. Then, with their “inner eye,” they can perceive the Love and Light that awaits them. This Love remains undisturbed by all outer circum- stances. But they must learn not to be tricked by what they see with their human eyes. I live in their every breath, every feeling, and every thought. My only desire is to love them with all that I Am.”
Opening The Door Way
In the ancient scripture known as the Spanda Karikas (Divine Pulsation), it is said that, “All energy is, in its ultimate analysis, only an offshoot of Spiritual energy.” (3)
All of life is vibrating with the energy of consciousness. Because we’ve been taught to live in our minds, we only touch the surface of life. We only believe what we hear, feel, or taste. Thus, we see objects and people at a flat, mundane frequency, which leaves us with a fearful, grasping, painful, and limited perspective. But when we set aside our judgment of what we are feeling or expe- riencing, and let ourselves rest in the moment, we can dive through the surface into the essence of who we really are.
We enter the magic doorway when we allow life to touch us deeply. While I was on one of my meditation retreats, my boyfriend started seeing another woman. Even worse, he asked my best friend to help him sup- port his new woman friend’s latest project. I felt so hurt and so betrayed, it was as though I had been stabbed in the heart. I tried to push away the pain so that I could return to a more normal state. When that didn’t work, I contracted my body in an effort to numb it, which only made me ill. I realized that I had to find the courage to face the pain. I took a long walk, which is my way of gaining clarity and experiencing my feelings more deeply. I came to a bench and sat down, and began to breathe into all of my hurt, allowing myself to feel it completely. I asked God to help me know the truth of who I really am and to show me the teaching embodied in this situation. A little while later, a response came. My heart, belly, and back opened up and the tears spilled forth like a river and so did my love for God. In that sacred moment, I saw that my pain and disappointment were intended to open the door once again to my Divine Self. Then I was able to see my former boyfriend in a new, more compassionate light. I realized that he did not intend to hurt me with his choices; he was just doing what he had to do in his life. Realizing this, I sat on the bench for a long time, holding him in my heart in forgiveness and love.
Every life experience, large and small, can take us to our innermost Self. The comforting chug of a train in the night, the roar of an airplane in the sky, the smell of a beautiful flower, the innocence of a child – these and other apparently ordinary things can inspire the sense of peace that calms our mind and fills our being. When we eat a piece of chocolate or experience an orgasm, we can enjoy the ecstasy of Being. Unfortunately, addiction to these and other substances, habits, or people can arise when we fail to realize that gifts such as sex or chocolate can be doorways to the Divine, but not the Divine itself. The Divine doorway can also fling open when we experience something shocking or challenging such as death or divorce. Having no context for this experience, our mind just stops. Even deep grief can have an unexpected sweetness, if fully embraced.
We are never alone. We are continually swimming in an ocean of consciousness that feeds us as a mother feeds an infant, but if we close ourselves off we will feel starved and dried up. Our refusal to accept Divine nourishment is the root of much of our sorrow. We must catch the current of consciousness that is constantly pulsating beneath all things. We must train ourselves to reach past the surface illusion to the core of all life. Anything that can stop the endless chatter of the mind can open us to God’s presence; but we must relax, accept what is, ask for guidance, and then listen to the music of our soul that is continually calling us home. Then we can attune ourselves to the Divine pulsation underlying our outer life experiences.
And so we pass through the magic doorway with open eyes that observe and rest in each moment of life and in each circumstance. In so doing, we draw sustenance from the inner Self, not from the outer form, which either passes away or leaves us barren and empty in the end.
Put a delicious piece of food in your mouth.
Witness all of your physical sensations. Stay with the experience.
Fall deep into the ecstasy.
Now swallow the food and keep the ecstasy that arose from within.
Rest in that deep state of peace, which cannot be taken away or affected by outer circumstances, people or substances.
Free At Last
The dark cloud bursts
And I emerge as the blue sky –
With a joy that surpasses all earthly joys
I have ever known.
The vision for The Magic Doorway into the Divine came to me while walking along a country road one hot summer’s day in the mid-1990’s. It was to be a simple book filled with poetry, meditations, and conversations with God. A couple of years later, I met an East Indian mystic who, upon meeting me for the first time, said, “You must write that book, it will help a lot of people.” I was startled that he would know a secret that I had forgot- ten; but I was also inspired to begin scratching down a few notes. In the process, a larger force began to take over, and eventually my scribbles blossomed into this book.
The Magic Doorway into the Divine chronicles a search that began 25 years ago when a life-altering mystical experience and profound healing awakened me to my true Self. The effect of this awakening changed my life so completely that everything I had assumed to be true evaporated, leaving me in unknown territory. For many years I walked through a fire that opened my heart, seared my soul, and graced me with the knowledge that we are not just small, limited creatures. We are one with God’s love.
Like a phoenix, The Magic Doorway into the Divine arose out of the ashes of this fire. In the writing, it taught me about the power of Divine Love and how such Love can be found in every moment of life, with every person, in every place, and in every thing. The metaphor of the magic doorway is an image to help us
understand what opens the doors, what closes the doors, and what takes us beyond all doors to the Garden of Love.
Spirituality is romanticized by many seekers who do not fully understand or do not wish to acknowledge that the pain one can experience in letting go of the ego can be horrific at times. In this book, I share some of my experiences and hold nothing back about the suffering as well as the joy that I have encountered in this journey to Truth. Enlightenment is not a linear process and cannot be controlled or captured with the mind. I have learned that one must embrace contradiction as an essential part of the journey.
Each section of The Magic Doorway into the Divine be- gins with a conversation between God and a Being of Light from a faraway galaxy. Their discussion about a lesson that human souls on Earth need to experience is fol- lowed by a poem that takes the reader more deeply into the heart of the matter. The teachings are then expand- ed upon by a philosophical essay, followed by short self- help “meditation keys” that can open the door into the reader’s own divinity.
Crossing the Threshold, expresses the miraculous power and healing that is possible when we touch the Truth.
The Door Openers, is a celebration of what we can be when we turn our minds to a higher perspective and, like alchemists, transmute every situation into love.
In Part III
The Door Closers, the poetry is written from the perspective of the ego, which has no interest in God or divinity. These poems are intentionally provocative in order to help us see our delusions more clearly.
The Journey Beyond the Doors, takes us into The Dark Night of the Soul, where nothing undertaken from the perspective of the personal will works. We discover that all mind-focusing concepts and techniques that might have worked in the past, no longer do. Any spiritual technique employed to open the doors to our high- er being has no power. We also find that we are unable to control our lives as we once thought we could; who- ever we have believed ourselves to be has been “erased.” This purification of the ego can be very distressing, but its ultimate goal is to take us to true humility. This, then, is where we learn that all striving is use- less; not a breath do we take without the Grace of God. There is nothing left to do but to surrender to God’s will.
In Part V
Returning To The Garden, we are new again, like chicks emerging from the cosmic egg, seeing the world with brand new eyes, seeing beauty and love in everything, accepting ourselves, letting go of the inner and outer war, and returning to the true Source.
The Magic Doorway into the Divine helps us to take our life challenges, personal, financial, and other types of losses; relationship issues; physical, mental, and emo tional health concerns; spiritual emergencies, etc. – to a new level of consciousness. It teaches us how to bring unconditional love to every part of life, something that all of us, regardless of age, race or culture, long to experience. This book encourages us to take responsibility
for our lives and to actively participate in our healing transformation. There is nothing wrong with anything that we undergo in life. Everything is a magic doorway to God’s love.